Daily Roundup - Relationships vs. Job Hunt
Ouch.
I remember before HTB was around that when I was dating I would feel the pain of rejection after dates didn't go well or relationships would break up. The happiness of leaving those days behind me was huge! Never again would I feel the sting of rejection! I found my happily ever after! End of story! Move me into my princess castle!
And then fast forward to the job search. Back comes the sting of rejection.
I went on this interview a few months ago after being contacted on LinkedIn. I wasn't happy where I was so I figured I would go and see what the job and company were about. Just like in the past, I fell hard after being pursued. Love was in my eyes (**insert emoji of that face that has the hearts for eyeballs!**) They pursued me, told me how much they cared and wanted to start something, and like a person afraid of commitment, they pulled the rug out from under me. "It's not you - it's me. And me wants to pursue other people." Not even a phone call. Just a random email one day while I was at lunch. Ouch. To this day I don't understand why they chased me so hard only to say goodbye. Was it me? Did they find someone else they just liked better?
Not being happy with my current relationship...err job I mean...I decided to start seeking out new prospects before breaking up. But like the good girl I am, I couldn't pretend any longer and decided to leave the relationship. I quit. Wipe my hands blackjack dealer style. It's time to move on. I will find this love one day.
So my search began. I would flirt with my resume, making eye contact across the room with my cover letter, only to find at the end of the night I was alone, watching others walk into the night together. A friend of mine that I met through work called and found out I was single - she had a job and has wanted me for a while now that she was a supervisor. Again, I was pursued. I felt good. I didn't have to search it out myself. Who knew it would be so easy! Finding HTB wasn't, so maybe this part of my life would be easy. Dates were promised, but were never delivered. One day soon we can be together, I kept being told. At this point, I began to wonder if she was cheating on me. I trusted her but friends told me she could never be trusted. I thought I knew her better. We were friends for so long, she wouldn't do that to me. But one day, like it was 6th grade all over again, she had someone else call and break up with me. "We decided to pursue other people. We did our in person dates last week and decided." Wait - I never got an in person interview/date! I was told it was coming! How could she do this? I thought we were friends. We still haven't spoken since then. She is supposed to be coming to my wedding. I wish she wouldn't. Having someone that rejected me at my wedding doesn't make for a happy bride. HTB says to be the bigger person and just ignore her that day. I don't want to see who she left me for. This break up still hurts.
Again, the search began. More flirting. More eye contact. Online dating with job boards - reviewing descriptions all the time. Calls to matchmakers/recruiters. It's a tough market (thanks outsourcing). I would get calls from people I gave my number to, only to find out I was overqualified. Maybe they wanted a fling while I was looking for a serious relationship? It just wouldn't work out - we weren't a good match. One person I gave my number to called me a month later. This set my heart racing - I really connected to the job description and felt it would be a good fit. I called them back. They didn't return my call that day, so I decided to call one more time the next day, just in case they didn't get my message. Funny how voicemails don't work when calls aren't returned fast enough to your liking. My prospective relationship answered the phone this time - yes the position was still available, but she would need to call me back. I never heard from her again. This one stung too. How many times can I be kicked before I find the one?
Now I'm looking for a fling. Something temporary. Something. Anything. I just want to feel the loving embrace of a paycheck. The warm caress of benefits. Having a purpose for the day. To be wanted. Those opportunities are few and far between as well. I threw my hat into the ring for one relationship with a bad boy - I wasn't sure if it was the right fit for me. They called right away (see my previous daily roundup where I was excited for the prospect of the phone interview and in person interview). We clicked. We decided to meet in person, only they wanted me to meet them in an unsafe neighborhood. After much debate with HTB, I decided to go. While I thought it was going to be just the two of us, I found out that it was a group date. Panel interview. Question after question fired from this side of the room and that side. I thought the date went well. I was sucked into the bad boy description and wanted to see more. I could do this relationship and do it well. I didn't hear from them until the following week - yesterday. It's not me, it's them. They want to pursue other people. As any insecure girl feels when she can't find love, I am now beginning to believe it is me after all.
Right now I just feel defeated. It's harder now to find a relationship that fits, as I have to change my criteria for dating. I can no longer travel on a whim, or take a job with long overtime hours (unless I can work from home). I can't drive too far from baby girl in case of emergency (which unfortunately happens more than I care to comment). I'm looking for love in a small town, but after the rejection that keeps occurring, I just feel so lonely.
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Read: I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up from 1am until about 4:30am finishing "So Close" by the women who wrote "The Nanny Diaries" - review to follow. I just started another NetGalley choice, "Smash and Grab" by Amy Christine Parker. Young adult novel. Maybe it will take my mind off of the most recent rejection?
Write: Sorry write. I've been avoiding you. I tried, but my emotions are so down, it makes my writing very dark and takes away from the stories I have started. Plural. I have 2 that I was working on. Part of me wants to take a break to work through my emotions, but the other part of me wants me to write through it. I'm sick in bed today, so let's see which part of me wins.
Shoes: I miss these. I don't know what made me think of them, but I owned them in my 20's and wore them all the time. Jessica Simpson shoes. They weren't the most comfortable, but damn I looked good in them! The strap broke on one shoes, and the heel broke on the other. RIP you beautiful Mary Jane heels! I still think of you fondly (although I don't think my post pregnancy feet would have allowed them to be worn anymore).
I remember before HTB was around that when I was dating I would feel the pain of rejection after dates didn't go well or relationships would break up. The happiness of leaving those days behind me was huge! Never again would I feel the sting of rejection! I found my happily ever after! End of story! Move me into my princess castle!
And then fast forward to the job search. Back comes the sting of rejection.
I went on this interview a few months ago after being contacted on LinkedIn. I wasn't happy where I was so I figured I would go and see what the job and company were about. Just like in the past, I fell hard after being pursued. Love was in my eyes (**insert emoji of that face that has the hearts for eyeballs!**) They pursued me, told me how much they cared and wanted to start something, and like a person afraid of commitment, they pulled the rug out from under me. "It's not you - it's me. And me wants to pursue other people." Not even a phone call. Just a random email one day while I was at lunch. Ouch. To this day I don't understand why they chased me so hard only to say goodbye. Was it me? Did they find someone else they just liked better?
Not being happy with my current relationship...err job I mean...I decided to start seeking out new prospects before breaking up. But like the good girl I am, I couldn't pretend any longer and decided to leave the relationship. I quit. Wipe my hands blackjack dealer style. It's time to move on. I will find this love one day.
So my search began. I would flirt with my resume, making eye contact across the room with my cover letter, only to find at the end of the night I was alone, watching others walk into the night together. A friend of mine that I met through work called and found out I was single - she had a job and has wanted me for a while now that she was a supervisor. Again, I was pursued. I felt good. I didn't have to search it out myself. Who knew it would be so easy! Finding HTB wasn't, so maybe this part of my life would be easy. Dates were promised, but were never delivered. One day soon we can be together, I kept being told. At this point, I began to wonder if she was cheating on me. I trusted her but friends told me she could never be trusted. I thought I knew her better. We were friends for so long, she wouldn't do that to me. But one day, like it was 6th grade all over again, she had someone else call and break up with me. "We decided to pursue other people. We did our in person dates last week and decided." Wait - I never got an in person interview/date! I was told it was coming! How could she do this? I thought we were friends. We still haven't spoken since then. She is supposed to be coming to my wedding. I wish she wouldn't. Having someone that rejected me at my wedding doesn't make for a happy bride. HTB says to be the bigger person and just ignore her that day. I don't want to see who she left me for. This break up still hurts.
Again, the search began. More flirting. More eye contact. Online dating with job boards - reviewing descriptions all the time. Calls to matchmakers/recruiters. It's a tough market (thanks outsourcing). I would get calls from people I gave my number to, only to find out I was overqualified. Maybe they wanted a fling while I was looking for a serious relationship? It just wouldn't work out - we weren't a good match. One person I gave my number to called me a month later. This set my heart racing - I really connected to the job description and felt it would be a good fit. I called them back. They didn't return my call that day, so I decided to call one more time the next day, just in case they didn't get my message. Funny how voicemails don't work when calls aren't returned fast enough to your liking. My prospective relationship answered the phone this time - yes the position was still available, but she would need to call me back. I never heard from her again. This one stung too. How many times can I be kicked before I find the one?
Now I'm looking for a fling. Something temporary. Something. Anything. I just want to feel the loving embrace of a paycheck. The warm caress of benefits. Having a purpose for the day. To be wanted. Those opportunities are few and far between as well. I threw my hat into the ring for one relationship with a bad boy - I wasn't sure if it was the right fit for me. They called right away (see my previous daily roundup where I was excited for the prospect of the phone interview and in person interview). We clicked. We decided to meet in person, only they wanted me to meet them in an unsafe neighborhood. After much debate with HTB, I decided to go. While I thought it was going to be just the two of us, I found out that it was a group date. Panel interview. Question after question fired from this side of the room and that side. I thought the date went well. I was sucked into the bad boy description and wanted to see more. I could do this relationship and do it well. I didn't hear from them until the following week - yesterday. It's not me, it's them. They want to pursue other people. As any insecure girl feels when she can't find love, I am now beginning to believe it is me after all.
Right now I just feel defeated. It's harder now to find a relationship that fits, as I have to change my criteria for dating. I can no longer travel on a whim, or take a job with long overtime hours (unless I can work from home). I can't drive too far from baby girl in case of emergency (which unfortunately happens more than I care to comment). I'm looking for love in a small town, but after the rejection that keeps occurring, I just feel so lonely.
**************************************************************************
Read: I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up from 1am until about 4:30am finishing "So Close" by the women who wrote "The Nanny Diaries" - review to follow. I just started another NetGalley choice, "Smash and Grab" by Amy Christine Parker. Young adult novel. Maybe it will take my mind off of the most recent rejection?
Write: Sorry write. I've been avoiding you. I tried, but my emotions are so down, it makes my writing very dark and takes away from the stories I have started. Plural. I have 2 that I was working on. Part of me wants to take a break to work through my emotions, but the other part of me wants me to write through it. I'm sick in bed today, so let's see which part of me wins.
Shoes: I miss these. I don't know what made me think of them, but I owned them in my 20's and wore them all the time. Jessica Simpson shoes. They weren't the most comfortable, but damn I looked good in them! The strap broke on one shoes, and the heel broke on the other. RIP you beautiful Mary Jane heels! I still think of you fondly (although I don't think my post pregnancy feet would have allowed them to be worn anymore).
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