Beaver Tales by CC Castoro
If the word "vagina" makes you squeamish, then this is not the book for you. Can I even call it a book? It clocks in around 66 pages, at the most, so it does make for a very fast read. That should have been my first red flag.
For those that know me, I enjoy reading nonfiction books about other ways of life. That is why I always enjoy reading celebrity autobiographies or biographies. I will never live life that way, so it is interesting to see what their version of normal is. From Natalie Wood, to Jodie Sweetin, Melissa Joan Hart and Holly Madison, I soak it all in. When there are books about careers I would never dive into, I like to read those as well. I want to read about the one the ER doctor wrote. Kitchen Confidential, Waiter Rant - maybe I wanted to work in the culinary arts in a past life? I even read a book on the history of diners - ok I started skimming that one because it was a bit boring. So when I found a book about life as a bikini waxer, I requested it. Let's be honest - waxing various body parts is not something I will EVER do. I don't even wax mine!
Right away, the cover can be off-putting to some.
In a time of Fifty Shades, women may be more open to it. I found the title of the book a little strange, but ignored it to see what it would be all about. A little too juvenile for me. Red flag #2.
We start this short story with a note from the author that reads like a bad college paper. "I have nothing to say so I am going to tell you why I did this project, and then give you a history lesson on waxing." There's even notations you used to have to insert in your paper - the reference page I think it was called? Maybe I was reading someone's college paper...
So now onto the stories! What is life like as a waxer? No wait..first a history of the author's life. An explanation of why she waxes all day long. Ok, I will play along. But it's still going on. And on. And on. Oh here we go! The first story! And it's called "Fartlick." Red flag #3.
Now I'm not a prude. I enjoy a raunchy sense of humor every now and again. Talking about sex does not make me run the other way. A "that's what she said" joke can make me laugh. Reading this "book" though reminded me of a 10-year-old boy who still laughs at the fart noise his elbow can make. Farts can be funny - my baby girl let one rip and then immediately said "dada!" which made us laugh for about a week. So why then, did the authors choice of humor and euphemisms rub me the wrong way (see what I did there!?) It's because it was over the top and unnecessary. It almost felt like it was a way for the author to extend these stories out for 5 more words here and 3 more words there. It really distracted from the stories. Reading the phrase "winking starfish" one more time set my teeth on edge.
And speaking of the stories - where were they!? Right when you would be getting into a story, it ended. Onto the next one. And again. Just got into it and then the rug is ripped out from under you and it's over. The tales are just too short - and before you know it the whole book is done. It left me with a feeling of being incomplete. I wanted more. More stories. More to the stories. Where was it? Red flag #4.
My final red flag was about how the author spoke of her clients, and their...smells... I get it. People judge. You can't help it. When I was getting ready to deliver my baby, I worked in a hospital. I spoke to the nurses and I had asked them how much they talk about what they see. And they do. Funky toenails. Funky vaginas. Weird body hair - they laugh about it all. And I could not even begin to tell you how paranoid I was to deliver my baby (not just because they laugh, but also because they were my coworkers). My water had broke, I was told that I needed to get to the hospital but I couldn't. I had to paint my toenails. I had to shave my legs. And now after reading this book, I will never get waxed.
I received this e-book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
For those that know me, I enjoy reading nonfiction books about other ways of life. That is why I always enjoy reading celebrity autobiographies or biographies. I will never live life that way, so it is interesting to see what their version of normal is. From Natalie Wood, to Jodie Sweetin, Melissa Joan Hart and Holly Madison, I soak it all in. When there are books about careers I would never dive into, I like to read those as well. I want to read about the one the ER doctor wrote. Kitchen Confidential, Waiter Rant - maybe I wanted to work in the culinary arts in a past life? I even read a book on the history of diners - ok I started skimming that one because it was a bit boring. So when I found a book about life as a bikini waxer, I requested it. Let's be honest - waxing various body parts is not something I will EVER do. I don't even wax mine!
Right away, the cover can be off-putting to some.
In a time of Fifty Shades, women may be more open to it. I found the title of the book a little strange, but ignored it to see what it would be all about. A little too juvenile for me. Red flag #2.
We start this short story with a note from the author that reads like a bad college paper. "I have nothing to say so I am going to tell you why I did this project, and then give you a history lesson on waxing." There's even notations you used to have to insert in your paper - the reference page I think it was called? Maybe I was reading someone's college paper...
So now onto the stories! What is life like as a waxer? No wait..first a history of the author's life. An explanation of why she waxes all day long. Ok, I will play along. But it's still going on. And on. And on. Oh here we go! The first story! And it's called "Fartlick." Red flag #3.
Now I'm not a prude. I enjoy a raunchy sense of humor every now and again. Talking about sex does not make me run the other way. A "that's what she said" joke can make me laugh. Reading this "book" though reminded me of a 10-year-old boy who still laughs at the fart noise his elbow can make. Farts can be funny - my baby girl let one rip and then immediately said "dada!" which made us laugh for about a week. So why then, did the authors choice of humor and euphemisms rub me the wrong way (see what I did there!?) It's because it was over the top and unnecessary. It almost felt like it was a way for the author to extend these stories out for 5 more words here and 3 more words there. It really distracted from the stories. Reading the phrase "winking starfish" one more time set my teeth on edge.
And speaking of the stories - where were they!? Right when you would be getting into a story, it ended. Onto the next one. And again. Just got into it and then the rug is ripped out from under you and it's over. The tales are just too short - and before you know it the whole book is done. It left me with a feeling of being incomplete. I wanted more. More stories. More to the stories. Where was it? Red flag #4.
My final red flag was about how the author spoke of her clients, and their...smells... I get it. People judge. You can't help it. When I was getting ready to deliver my baby, I worked in a hospital. I spoke to the nurses and I had asked them how much they talk about what they see. And they do. Funky toenails. Funky vaginas. Weird body hair - they laugh about it all. And I could not even begin to tell you how paranoid I was to deliver my baby (not just because they laugh, but also because they were my coworkers). My water had broke, I was told that I needed to get to the hospital but I couldn't. I had to paint my toenails. I had to shave my legs. And now after reading this book, I will never get waxed.
I received this e-book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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